“The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.”
–Ludwig Wittgenstein
Olga from Ukraine is a psychiatrist. Afshin from Iran is a civil engineer. Thao from Vietnam is a priest. Ricardo from Colombia is an architect. Parminder from India has a PhD in microbiology. Huang, a math teacher, was a high school principal in Korea.
They have one thing in common: they don’t speak English.
A person who immigrates to Canada without or with little knowledge of English finds himself or herself in an extremely difficult situation. In the first years of living in a strange country, most adult immigrants experience culture shock that is associated with adjusting to different weather conditions, different food, different customs, and missing family back home, to name a few. However, the most trying thing is losing the power of words. The perfect knowledge of the language you have spoken for your entire life proves to be completely useless in your new life as an immigrant. Communication with others that used to be an enjoyable, effortless activity becomes a stressful, and sometimes ineffective, chore. Tasks as simple as answering the phone, buying groceries, asking for directions, talking to a doctor, talking to your child’s teacher, etc. suddenly pose immense challenges.
This is how the ESL students that I work with describe their experiences: “At the airport I couldn’t say good sentences. I said only words and moved my hands”; “I couldn’t talk because I was afraid of making mistakes”; “Sometimes I laughed when they laughed, and they thought I understood”; “I couldn’t express myself fully while talking to my Canadian doctor about my pregnancy and pains”; “I got a phone call from my bank and I didn’t know what they were asking me.” They recall feeling stupid, frightened, embarrassed, frustrated, sad, misunderstood and confused.
Consequently, being unable to fully express yourself has a significant influence on the person’s perception of who you really are. The language problem becomes the source of an identity crisis, and your self-esteem suffers greatly. You discover that the ability to speak the language is the most defining factor of who you are as a human being. My ESL students recall: “When I arrived in Canada, I felt like a baby or a doll who couldn’t speak, only look around”; “I couldn’t go to my kids’ school because I wasn’t able to talk with the teacher. I felt useless because I couldn’t help my children”, “I was afraid to go outside by myself. I felt like a deaf-mute; like a handicapped person”; “I was frustrated because I couldn’t be assertive. I lost all my confidence.” One of my students, not being able to express what he felt was one of his most important personality traits, simply said, “You know, I am really funny.”
I myself experienced this rocky journey of being a new immigrant to Canada, when I moved here from Poland 26 years ago. I remember these same feelings that my students are experiencing. You desperately want to be recognized and known for who you really are: a sensitive, cultured, intelligent person with high values. You are afraid of creating a bad impression to English speakers, or offending them by the wrong choice of words.
When a person functions like this for a prolonged period of time, they may become impatient and angry with themselves. This is a dangerous moment where you can fall into clinical depression. One student, a teacher from Eritrea, described feeling disconnected, helpless and vulnerable in a dangerous world, where communication is “the centre of everything”. She said, “Silence and sadness becomes a big part of your life.” A Korean businessman wrote in my intermediate ESL class, “I used to be a handsome, cheerful, extrovert, sensitive, very creative person, but now I am ugly, introvert, unhappy, sad person. I am immigrant.”
Learning a new language is a long process. Even if you reach an intermediate level and are able to “survive” in English, it is not enough to give you a job in your profession. Many immigrants are not able to study English full time because they need to work, usually in low-level jobs, to support their families. The lack of time to study poses an additional challenge. Imagine working eight hours washing dishes in a restaurant, and then coming to an evening class to study a new language – not for pleasure but for survival.
You might ask: “Why do people who do not speak English immigrate to Canada then?” Well, this is a whole different topic, related to economic and political situations elsewhere in the world. But thankfully, there are many Canadians who welcome and come alongside new immigrants, and respectfully give them practical and caring help. I certainly experienced that myself.
Most ESL speakers are able to master English with time, and get good jobs. Our country is still a haven for brave and ambitious people who courageously overcome the language gap and regain the power of words.
