Review by Bill Locke
The Gift of Hard Things: Finding Grace in Unexpected Places by Mark Yaconelli
InterVarsity Press; Downer’s Grove, IL; 2016
First of all, let me say that I wish I had this book on my bedside table during some of the trying experiences in my life.
The Gift of Hard Things, author Mark Yaconelli’s latest book, covers an array of struggles that we all encounter – feelings of powerlessness, anger, disappointment and burnout. As he succinctly puts it, “We fall in holes. Plans fall apart. Dreams die. Faith disappears. Suffering is real. We need help to recalibrate our lives back to our compassionate, God-trusting selves.”
In a very approachable and self-revealing way, Yaconelli highlights our common humanity, reminding us – and himself – that we are not alone in our brokenness. Yaconelli also gently brings us into the light, helping to open our eyes to the possibilities for both inner growth and a renewed sense of connectedness that can flow out of that brokenness.
Yaconelli understands the power of stories. He is the founder and executive director of The Hearth Community, a nonprofit that assists towns and charitable organizations in cultivating compassion through personal storytelling. And in The Gift of Hard Things, he masterfully uses storytelling to guide us into a deeper awareness of God’s grace. The stories in each chapter, sometimes humorous but always enlightening, guide us in asking the deep questions at the root of suffering. I appreciated that he doesn’t sink into easy answers. In fact, I found that many of his stories caused me to pause and reflect on the twists and turns in my own life – and gave me the courage to look at them with a new, more honest perspective. As Yaconelli shows us, when we are open, humble and frank with ourselves, we begin to let go of our self-pity and wounded pride, and start to look for God’s gifts. We can make progress on the road that God has prepared for us, and not get bogged down and distracted. This book is a travel guide for that journey.
Though it has a contemporary feel, The Gift of Hard Things has an ancient foundation. It’s an updated, articulate Job, Proverbs, Psalms, and Ecclesiastes, joined at the hip. It unites the parables of Christ with the perceptiveness of John of the Cross; the holy folly of St. Francis of Assisi with the orange prison jumpsuit of Fr. Louis Vitale; the insights of St. Ignatius with the lessons of St. Teresa of Calcutta.
Yaconelli does not sugar-coat reality. He writes, “Sometimes burnout leads to depression. Sometimes injustice leads to violence. Sometimes brokenness leads to self-hatred. Sometimes doubt leads to a loss of faith. Sometimes death removes all hope. There are hard things, and there are harder things.” He also talks about how events in his own life rarely match his expectations, and that his “most damning expectations come from deep within” – judging, goading and criticizing him for falling short.
Author Mark Yaconelli
But through the very act of honest reflection, a path forward is revealed. At the end of each chapter Yaconelli offers valuable personal questions to consider, as well as a wealth of spiritual practices that, in his words, “might help you move out of the hurt and disappointment for a moment, and remember your deeper capacities for love and generosity.” For me, this was a reminder to take time to use the spiritual tools available to us, as we try to redeem our difficult experiences and move beyond them.
I also appreciated that Yaconelli calls upon the wisdom of so many others in this book, with quotes that often caused me to stop in my tracks and re-read slowly. Here’s one that rung true for me, by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross: “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths.”
Yaconelli’s new book reminds us all that when we can accept struggles as a natural part of our spiritual growth (and stop wasting so much energy resenting them), then we are making room for the deeper gifts of the Spirit – gifts like thankfulness, forgiveness, wonder, and joy. I’m grateful for Yaconelli’s help in clearing out some unwanted, unhelpful clutter, and making room in my soul for things that truly matter.
Visit Mark Yaconelli’s website for more information about his books and storytelling events.
