Maria Morales and her husband Leon
I am a newcomer to Canada. I would like to share with you my experience, trusting that God will put the right words in my heart. Things I have learned from the process of moving here have helped me very much whenever I face new challenges. My hope is that what I have learned might be helpful to you, too.
I was born in Mexico and I got married young, at 22 years of age. My husband and I had big dreams about having our first baby in the first years of our marriage. We used a form of natural family planning called the Billings Ovulation Method to avoid using any chemicals in our bodies that would affect a pregnancy.
Months passed and nothing happened, so we started taking special vitamins. As well, we began receiving advice from friends and family. Naturally, our relationship began to be affected by the stress of hearing the comments of people who felt pity for us and were pushing us to “solve the problem”.
We started to think that maybe something was wrong with us. We even got to a point where we had doubts about our reasons for getting married. Was it the child we wanted – which now seemed impossible – or was it love that brought us together?
Time kept passing, and still no pregnancy. Our dreams of having a baby were almost dead, so we went to God. We begged on our knees for the blessing of staying together even though our desires for a baby might never be fulfilled.
Some people say, “Don’t just complain about something you do not like; propose something new.” And so we “proposed” an idea to God – to let us build a new life in Canada. And that is exactly what came to pass.
The challenges in coming here started with comments from our loved ones doubting that we would be able to move to Canada. At the same time we knew we would have to give away much of what we had built up in three years of marriage, and take only the most important things that could fit in one suitcase each. Of course there was also the uncertainty of when we would see our family again, not to mention the financial issues of such a big move. We had no idea if living in Canada would really work out for the best.
In addition, we faced our preconceptions and fears of stepping out into the unknown, and even talked about the way we usually strive to “look as natural as we can” when we are trying to adapt to new situations, which isn’t always helpful.
And so, here we are in Canada. Troubles and complications continue to come. I know this is not a “happily ever after” story. This is a real life story. But every day we thank God for the opportunities, the new dreams, the lessons and new perspectives that coming here have brought to us.
For example, it’s been an eye-opener to live in a place where the public transportation is on time and you can schedule your day; where people are punctual; where houses and gardens are clean; and where there are countless non-profit organizations and people volunteering in different ministries.
I know Canada is not a perfect place and it has its own challenges, but as far as I see this country has been built through continuous hard work. And it lights the way for me to help my own family in different ways. It has given me the faith and confidence to know that I can become a writer, and create a children’s public library back in my hometown (even if it takes me 20 years to do so), rescuing some of my old “impossible” dreams and working on them little by little.
There is a phrase that has been strengthening to me and that I think fits perfectly here. The first time I heard it was from Martin Valverde, a Latin American gospel singer and preacher. He said: “If you request a tree from God, know that he might give it in the form of a seed”.
When we ask for something new from God, in our minds we look for a tree. We know exactly how our tree looks, and we imagine how tall we want it to be. Sometimes God gives us our tree… but in the form of a seed.
I have also heard many people complaining, “God is not being clear on what he wants from us.” I think the seed is the most practical and direct indication that God could ever send to our lives.
God asks us to be patient. He wants us to be faithful every day in watering the seed that He gives us, even though we may not see it grow for months (or even years!) He asks us to be kind to our seed, and also to be kind to the people who don’t understand or don’t believe in the big tree of our dreams.
God wants us to continue to carry out small loving actions, trusting that our tree will grow in His way and by His power, along with our little but constant contributions.
Just like my desire to have a baby, it might be that your “desired tree” does not appear the way you pictured it. Perhaps it turns out to be an elm tree instead of a maple tree. Or perhaps the big, beautiful tree of your dreams seems right now to be more like a tiny stone. Don’t feel lost.
Remember that every tree was once a seed. And every tree comes from the loving hands of God, who knows what is best for us.
You can find some of Maria Morales’ work here:
http://mariafreakingcolores.wordpress.com (Poetry and painting; Spanish/English)
http://relatos-de-maria.blogspot.mx/ (Short stories; Spanish)
https://parainconformes.wordpress.com/ (Anthropology; Spanish/English)
